Notice of Date Change: The Passion Test workshop is post-poned from Apr 4 & 11 to April 11 & 18. Sorry for the inconvenience. We have room for two more registrants, BestUCanB so call Tina today at 403-285-5266 if you want to join us for two fun filled, enlightening, Wednesday evenings.

I (Tina) am in a quandary. Heart and Mind Matters is supposed to be your weekly uplift, yet at the same time, we promised we would keep this e-zine real and authentic. 

BestUCanB I can’t seem to find anything to write about except what’s really on my mind right now – my Dad. He decided this past weekend to forego any more medical treatment/intervention and let nature take its course; we have no idea how much longer he will be with us in his physical body.

I struggled with or not whether to go into all of this with you. In the end, I decided that our aging society means more and more of us are facing ‘death’ these days, so maybe what I have to share will be of value to you BestUCanB.  I use apostrophes around the word ‘death’ because I don’t believe it exists. As energetic beings, we can’t possibly die. Sure, our bodies expire, but our souls carry on in another energetic form. It is this very strong spiritual belief that offers me a sense of peace in knowing that Dad will soon be moving on to a place of pure Divine Love, without the struggles of the human existence. Having said that, my physical body will miss his physical body, and there is a grieving process attached to that.

The last two weeks have been a rollercoaster ride, since the shock over Dad’s near-‘death’ two Sundays ago, the hopefulness of his miraculous recovery, and now the reality of the imminent end of this life.

Being a three hour drive away has meant a constant debate with myself (with many different voices!) over staying home vs making the long drive to Edmonton over and over. There’s the voice of the traditional sense of duty and service to family that tells me I need to suspend my life in Calgary and be in Edmonton to support them. There’s the voice of integrity to my students/work in Calgary that tells me I need to be here. There’s the voice of reason that says, “He might be around for a long time. You can’t put your life on hold. Life goes on for the living!” There’s the voice of urgency that says, “What if he’s only here for a short time? Spend as much time with him as you can, be there beside him, comfort him. He holds traditional church beliefs about Heaven and Hell; so consequently, dying is a scary thing for him.”

I thank God for Neil’s Shin Dao philosophy. It keeps me grounded and coming back to what’s really important – Living the Way of the Heart means speaking and acting from a place of love. Shin Dao tells me to hush the loud voices (which are always Ego – the mind) and listen to the quiet voices (which are Spirit – the heart). This philosophy tells me to do what feels right, day by day, without guilt or shame. It tells me to remember that the flow of love is a constant in-pouring and out-pouring; to remember that in sharing love and support, I have to be open to receive it, as well, or my sharing will drain me.

This means I shouldn’t do what I think I am obligated to do. I either don’t do it, or I find a way to feel genuine about doing what feels like the right thing to do. It means being honest with myself about when I must take a little time to nurture and care for myself, and when I can set my needs aside to be there to serve another’s needs.

Staying whole and healthy through this process of Dad’s departure means acknowledging when I feel sad and allowing myself to cry, instead of ‘stuffing’ the emotion down to deal with later, because I always find that when I give myself permission to truly feel the pain I am feeling, it passes quickly. It also means being as present to this moment as much I possibly can be, without slipping into the past, or worrying about the future so much. Being Here Now allows me to experience those little moments of joy, happiness and laughter when they pop up. Humor is spontaneous. Dad and I have had a few laughs within minutes of shedding a few tears, just by being present with each other. And our most special moments have been when we’ve sat in silence, just looking into one another’s eyes, allowing our souls, rather than words, to say how much we love each other.

Hmmm…. The more I write, the more I find I could write, but this is supposed to be a short e-zine, so I’ll stop here.

BestUCanB I wish you a blessed week, filled with small, beautiful moments, deep, heart-felt connections and true, Divine Love.

Namaste,

Tina